Live and Learn

Well, it’s almost Thanksgiving, the horror, the horror. For those of us moms who don’t particularly enjoy the culinary arts, this time of year can have its special challenges. Personally, I’d almost rather be in Target at 6 am Friday morning than in my kitchen at 6 pm Thursday evening.  The enormity of the turkey dinner task weighs heavily upon me.

It didn’t always. I used to enjoy fussing in the kitchen. But I’m old and cranky now, I have a busy life, and I am dead sick of my kitchen.  I’m burned out on short-order cooking all the pancakes, grilled cheeses, casseroles, chicken dishes, burgers, spaghetti dinners, waffles, mac’n’cheeses, sandwiches, omelets, stir fries, stews, soups etc.etc. that my revolving door crowd of growing men seem to constantly request.  

I’m forever dealing plates out over the counter, setting ‘em up for another meal.   Always shoveling massive quantities of food into their terrible gaping maws, only to be confronted with calls for “More, please! ” and “Mom! I’m hungry again!”

“ Again?” I whimper, depleted, exhausted.  Three teenage sons grow like weeds, you know?  And now I have to put on a whole Thanksgiving dinner, too? I am the only female in our household, and hey, I can only do so much. What kind of sick chauvinistic joke has my life turned out to be, after all?

My family would argue just the reverse. According to them, I hardly cook at all. Or, at least, I don’t cook a proper dinner nearly often enough.  To which I reply: Hey, just how many things can one woman do in a day?  So sometimes I just don’t get around to the dinner portion of the evening. No one’s exactly starving in our family. If you’re worried, take a vitamin, okay?

But tonight, I have to concede that they may have an actual point.  As we were ordering pizza, my fourteen year old son informed me of something that happened, er, the last time we ordered pizza.

We’d forgotten to turn the outside lights on so the driver could find the house, so when my son answered the door, he apologized to the driver for the dark driveway.

“That’s okay, kid,” said the pizza driver. “I know the way to your house. “

 “In fact,” the delivery guy added, “I've pretty much watched you grow up.”

 Just let that sink in for a moment.

Has anybody got any good pumpkin pie recipes?  

I hope you'll watch this short video. I hope it is a life-enriching three minutes for you.  It was for me. 

My family did not participate in any organized religion when I was a child. My father said -- and he told the truth -- that organized religion was responsible for intolerance, hate, suffering, war -- for so much damage and destruction in this world, that he wanted no part of it. Yet, as I've grown up, I've also seen how organized religion -- at its best -- can also be responsible for so much of the tolerance, love, compassion, and peace in this world. Religion is fallible, because humans are fallible.Religion is both evil and good because humans are both evil and good. Wherever you stand on the religious spectrum,it can't be discounted that most humans, for whatever reason, seem hard-wired to want to search. To seek higher meaning, greater purpose, in the world around us. We seek, we strive to know the unknowable, name the unnameable. 

Especially in today's confusing, post-modern world, we seek. As the world's conflicts and questions become increasingly convoluted, many have fallen back upon various strict and separate fundamentalist interpretations. They cling to rigid rules, because when everything else is changing at breakneck speed, ANYTHING that seems firmly cast in stone -- even rigid fundamentalist dogma -- can evidently have its certain appeal. Others have given up on religion altogether, feeling that it doesn't provide fulfilling answers in a post-nuclear age.

As in politics, so in religion: I love the middle ground. I love the idea of a charter for compassion, because it seems to me that now, more than ever, we humans on this globe need to look for whatever shreds of commonality we can muster.  The basic Golden Rule is common to all the world's religions. It still seems like the brightest, smartest, most optimistic approach possible for humans to take in their seeking, their striving.   

This charter for compassion, first proposed by world-famous religious scholar and historian Karen Armstrong, commits to a world vision where compassion and tolerance are encouraged. 

A world vision such as this -- especially as we head into the holiday season -- is a joy to behold.

We all can add our voices to it.

For more information, visit http://www.charterforcompassion.com/. 

For Karen Armstrong's full speech upon acceptance of the TED award, see:

I've spoken to many friends and relatives this past week who, no matter what their political leanings, are newly hopeful about the future, now that we have President-Elect Obama.  Hope is a new commodity, and it's trading high. That's not to say it won't be hard work, though.  

I have a cousin out in California, who has spent most of her life advocating for folks with disabilities/special needs. Her reflections are so eloquently expressed. I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her here:  

"I'm old enough to remember the rough times of the Civil Rights movement very vividly, so like many, I feel the real weight of the arc of history right now. I can literally feel that heavy wheel slowly turning. I talked to my aunt on Sunday, who's 90 now, and she said that she is glad that she has lived long enough to actually witness this happening to our country . . .

"There are so many additional benefits. Obama is honest, tough, fair and a constitutional scholar. That means his administration will not allow our constitution to be abused, and will not allow our civil  rights to be toyed with for political purposes. He is well-educated, well-spoken, and communicates beautifully. He respects and advocates for education, and will not talk down to our people. That will end the use of the anti-intellectualism card that the Republicans have played consistently since Nixon picked Agnew as his vice-presidential running mate! Boy, have I been waiting that to change to happen! Obama is already serving as a  role model for kids and teenagers to do well in school and act with integrity (not to mention also changing the way they dress, as I have heard) . . ."

One small side note about the "changing the way teens dress." Interestingly, Obama instructed today's young men to "pull up their pants" in a recent interview.  

  "Here is my attitude," said Obama. "I think people passing a law against people wearing sagging pants is a waste of time. We should be focused on creating jobs, improving our schools, health care, dealing with the war in Iraq, and anybody, any public official, that is worrying about sagging pants probably needs to spend some time focusing on real problems out there."

"Having said that," he added, "brothers should pull up their pants. You are walking by your mother, your grandmother; your underwear is showing. What's wrong with that? Come on. There are some issues that we face, that you don't have to pass a law, but that doesn't mean folks can't have some sense and some respect for other people and, you know, some people might not want to see your underwear -- I'm one of them."

I just loved seeing this glimpse of the scolding father in Obama.

But hey, it isn't just the teens. In a sense we all need to learn "some sense and some respect for other people," in Obama's words.

 And we, too, need to pull up our pants and get to work. We need to learn to live within our means, and work hard to do so; learn to be greener consumers; learn to care about the greater good; learn to be open and accepting of each other in all our differences. So let's stop the childish political squabbling and finger-pointing and bullying and doom-saying, and put on our big-boy and big-girl pants.

Most of all, I feel we need to learn that LEARNING -- that education -- is the ticket to success in this world. Twentyfirst-century skills necessitate we teach kids to "learn how to learn." In a world where they'll change jobs dozens of times, they --and we-- need a fire-in-the-belly, a hunger to learn, to change, to grow, be flexible, adapt to an ever-changing world.       

So let's all pull up our pants and get to work!

According to news reports this morning, Senator McCain called Barack Obama at 10 p.m. to offer his congratulations on being elected the 44th president of the United States of America.

In the call, Mr. Obama said he was eager to sit down and talk with Mr. McCain; in his concession speech, Mr. McCain said he was ready to help Mr. Obama work through difficult times.

“I need your help,” Mr. Obama told McCain, according to an Obama adviser, Robert Gibbs. “You’re a leader on so many important issues.”

Mr. Bush called Mr. Obama shortly after 10 p.m. to congratulate him on his victory. “I promise to make this a smooth transition,” the president said to Mr. Obama, according to a transcript provided by the White House .“You are about to go on one of the great journeys of life. Congratulations, and go enjoy yourself.”

But Barack Obama didn't seem to be in a "go-enjoy-yourself" mood -- he left that to the crowds at Grant Park. He seemed moved, fully aware of the weightiness of the undertaking. He showed no illusion about how tough the road ahead will be. And in a way that touched my heart, he reached out with quiet grace.  

“To those Americans whose support I have yet to earn,” said President-Elect Obama, “I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your president, too.”

I pray we all will join together now and work hard for a better country. This election, and this nation, is about WE the people. Here's to unity, support, and resolving our differences in civilized fashion toward a common goal -- a stronger, better America. I have always felt that diversity of ideas -- all voices at the table --  leads to better decision-making. As of today, I feel that we finally are on our way toward that better decision-making.   

What a wonderful country we have, and what historic day this is. Americans are truly blessed.  

Eleanor Roosevelt said that the only way to grow as a person was to do something new that scares you a little every day.  This election has scared -- and empowered me. I've pushed myself to get out there. I've dared to write about my thoughts in this blog. I've volunteered to campaign for a candidate -- Barack Obama -- for the first time ever in an election process. And as a result , I've met wonderful new friends who share a lot of my beliefs and ideals in what it will take to make this a better world. I've also renewed and reaffirmed friendship with others who don't share my views, but still have my utmost respect. I hope I have theirs as well.

In a lot of ways, this election is about being fearful versus being hopeful.

I am choosing to be hopeful.

Whoever wins today, I hope we can rally as a country round our new leader with unity of support. And with a loud, clear, confident, opinionated (but respectful)  voice. Becuase if this election has taught me anything, it's that the voice of the people matters. We must be heard. Or else it's not democracy.

Best way to do that today?

Please, vote.  

My cousin, who works for and with those with disabilities internationally, sent me this inspiring clip this morning. 

The vast proportion of agencies and initiatives for special needs in this country support Barack Obama for president.  (If Sarah Palin were voting only based on her child's welfare, she would reluctantly have to vote Obama too!)

Here's the track record, courtesy Independent Living USA: (http://www.ilusa.com/News/OBAMA-VS-MCCAIN.htm)